Seasons Greetings,
Here I hang at Maple Fuels in Maple Falls to bring to "you" the things that I do do. As you may have thought that I was going to college, I pulled your leg and arm and gave you a tittie twister because I AM NOT! HAHAHHAHHA YA FOOLS! Well, I am, just not in January. So it seems our wonderful goverment doesn't want to give this 23 year old independent male any grants for college. So, I am just not going to try and figure student loans out until the 4th quarter or possibly next fall. Which means... THAT I AM GOING TO SHRED SNOWBOARDING ALL WINTER AND YOU SHOULD TOO!
Things that are on my chest that need to be off my chest include but are not related to scuba-drifting:
1. Working on Christmas...
That is basically it, no one wants to, but I did... Sure, I got a bonus of 20 bucks and 20 dollar gift certificate and won a helmet that is too big for my noggin and I happily handed it off to a friend in need, it still doesn't account for my having to work that hard and deal with all those hungry people. Needless to say, I had a good Christmas that was filled with laughs and friends. I did (and do) feel bad for missing my first family christmas, but they know I was there in spirit. To everyone I normally see on that Merry day, please know that I'll do my best to be there next year!
What is life on the mountain like? Well, I work in a cooler version of a fast food restaurant and listen to a mix of dance and rap music... I get to snowboard (sometimes). There is a snow igloo that is getting so BAA DASS that Nate slept in it the other night. Pretty much just hang out and laugh, even when I work. Though, yesterday at work I asked someone if they wanted Orange Milk with their chicken nuggets... We don't have orange milk... Also, I watched a kid cough at me and I felt like I was going to be sick, because he looked pale and deathly. Then, two minutes later, he fainted and started crying... and all his dad did was say "HE IS FINE, HE JUST NEEDS THIS LEMONADE AND CHICKEN NUGGETS!" I fear for that poor boy, getting aids or herpes and just remedying it with rub on chicken nuggets dunked in lemonade his whole life. Poor fellow. On the upside, I am not sick.
I got a newer pair of used boots, ya know, instead of the 96' Airwalks... Along with those sick Burton Boots, I have a new "used" helmet that has already come in handy. I was also gifted a sweet pair of bindings for when I stumble upon a sweet snowboard. Looks like I am rad rad rad ready! My learning curve is taking its "super happy fun time" where you have to go really fast before you fall. Makes for faster learning and faster turning.
What else to tell the few people that read this? Life is good, I am happy, I am full, and I am alive. The mountain is a whole different style of life and I feel I've only just dipped my toes in. Come Jan. I feel like the new year will bring leaps of enjoeyment, hopefully for everyone! Without further adieu I am going to buy a case of beer. "Smooches and Farts"- A Hero of mine once said.
Friday, December 27, 2013
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Farts
From the Eyes of a Mountain Bum,
"Sup brotha-man?" T-Sloan pipes.
"Oh, goin' out to tha snow cave." Brotha-man merrily replies.
Now its time for Mountain Dictionary Edition 2013 Revised.
Chunder ball: N. A giant block of ice, usually at the bottoms of Cat-Tracks, dangerous if encountered without reaction time.
Canadian Thanksgiving: P.N. It's in October.
Core Shot: When a rock busts through the base layer of your skis or board. 2. Getting shot by a gun in the midsection.
Here I sit at the Employee Lodge of Mt. Baker Ski and Snowboard area. I had to work today, but we once again have terrible snow conditions so we are not busy, hence the had. However, working here is not about the work, but the perk. Going out every day to catch some pow-turns, drop some cliffs, or just jovially gallivant and traverse the varying terrains the mountain has offer on your skis or your snowboard. I digress.
I came here with nothing but a heart, a soul, a mind, and a body. Upon arrival the kindness of others has begun hitting me like ocean waves. In a week and a half, I am fully equipped to snowboard whenever I want/get the chance too. Thus far, I have gone out 3 times and have damn learned a lot! First things first, don't put your hands down to fall, you'll break your wrist. Second, your ass will hurt if you do the first correctly. Third, when you begin to fall harder, your learning a lot faster...
That last line brings up my first lie. Well, not really a lie, just a time out of time thing (I mean, if I wrote this blog sooner, it wouldn't be a lie, but because of "time" I guess I lied). I am NOT fully equipped to be riding this mountain, I need one more item. Yesterday I smashed my face going quite fast into a heelside turn, instead caught my toe edge of the snowboard, thus making me gain super powers as I Super Maned right onto my face and chest, knocking the wind out of me and making me think semi funny thoughts, aka a bit delirious. SO, after I managed to get back up and ride the rest of the way down to the Raven Hut (backcountryesk lodge), I strolled in to find some friends kickin it, warming up, and getting coffee. We shared our daily riding stories and VOILA! Lucas, an Australian who moved to Glacier (closest town) offered to hook it up with his helmet an his old boots (I am currently rockin some mid-90's Airwalks). BAM! Now this brain of mine won't get too scrambled!
Alright alright alright alright WHATEVER ALREADY. If you love snowboarding or skiing and your stuck in Wisconsin and you think you need an actual mountain to ride. I suggest finding one, moving there as an employee, living on the mountain, and riding as much as possible. you will progress more than you ever have. Plus, you get to meet some of the craziest cool cats ever. Every day is story time, If that means listening to one, telling one, or creating one, it is eye opening and mind blowing.
So you snow heads out there, strap your balls on and make some moves son. Or strap your boobs on, to you beautiful women, but ya know, not being sexist, it's just, ya know, like, works better with balls... I mean, harumph sigh. Sorry.
Sorry this was a pretty lame post. The mountain life out here is so awesome that I have to balance it by making it less cool on the introwebs. Now go give a stranger a hug, buy the next person in line their coffee order, and snag that handicap spot you've always wanted!
Karma Cheers,
Joey "WISCONSIN" Michels
"Sup brotha-man?" T-Sloan pipes.
"Oh, goin' out to tha snow cave." Brotha-man merrily replies.
Now its time for Mountain Dictionary Edition 2013 Revised.
Chunder ball: N. A giant block of ice, usually at the bottoms of Cat-Tracks, dangerous if encountered without reaction time.
Canadian Thanksgiving: P.N. It's in October.
Core Shot: When a rock busts through the base layer of your skis or board. 2. Getting shot by a gun in the midsection.
Here I sit at the Employee Lodge of Mt. Baker Ski and Snowboard area. I had to work today, but we once again have terrible snow conditions so we are not busy, hence the had. However, working here is not about the work, but the perk. Going out every day to catch some pow-turns, drop some cliffs, or just jovially gallivant and traverse the varying terrains the mountain has offer on your skis or your snowboard. I digress.
I came here with nothing but a heart, a soul, a mind, and a body. Upon arrival the kindness of others has begun hitting me like ocean waves. In a week and a half, I am fully equipped to snowboard whenever I want/get the chance too. Thus far, I have gone out 3 times and have damn learned a lot! First things first, don't put your hands down to fall, you'll break your wrist. Second, your ass will hurt if you do the first correctly. Third, when you begin to fall harder, your learning a lot faster...
That last line brings up my first lie. Well, not really a lie, just a time out of time thing (I mean, if I wrote this blog sooner, it wouldn't be a lie, but because of "time" I guess I lied). I am NOT fully equipped to be riding this mountain, I need one more item. Yesterday I smashed my face going quite fast into a heelside turn, instead caught my toe edge of the snowboard, thus making me gain super powers as I Super Maned right onto my face and chest, knocking the wind out of me and making me think semi funny thoughts, aka a bit delirious. SO, after I managed to get back up and ride the rest of the way down to the Raven Hut (backcountryesk lodge), I strolled in to find some friends kickin it, warming up, and getting coffee. We shared our daily riding stories and VOILA! Lucas, an Australian who moved to Glacier (closest town) offered to hook it up with his helmet an his old boots (I am currently rockin some mid-90's Airwalks). BAM! Now this brain of mine won't get too scrambled!
Alright alright alright alright WHATEVER ALREADY. If you love snowboarding or skiing and your stuck in Wisconsin and you think you need an actual mountain to ride. I suggest finding one, moving there as an employee, living on the mountain, and riding as much as possible. you will progress more than you ever have. Plus, you get to meet some of the craziest cool cats ever. Every day is story time, If that means listening to one, telling one, or creating one, it is eye opening and mind blowing.
So you snow heads out there, strap your balls on and make some moves son. Or strap your boobs on, to you beautiful women, but ya know, not being sexist, it's just, ya know, like, works better with balls... I mean, harumph sigh. Sorry.
Sorry this was a pretty lame post. The mountain life out here is so awesome that I have to balance it by making it less cool on the introwebs. Now go give a stranger a hug, buy the next person in line their coffee order, and snag that handicap spot you've always wanted!
Karma Cheers,
Joey "WISCONSIN" Michels
Keepin the gear safe, mouser ftw
Mt. Shukstan
Dorms anyone?
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